you explained….why you do the things you do

September 14, 2011

I had a great e-mail yesterday from one of my subscribers
asking me how I get so much done (I get less done than
you'd think)

It got me thinking about why we do the things we do.

Your subconsious mind is amazing, it is the genius that runs
your body and life

Our rational mind is great fun too but compared to the
subconsious it pales in importance when it comes to
understanding behaviour

Back when I'd finished my Psychology degree and we started
New Insights I was fortunate enough to coach many many
people from multi millionaires to Diplomats, Celebrities to
homeless guys on the streets and much much more.

I began to see a predictable pattern that went something
like this:

Some (percieved) painful event in someones past creates
emotional pain.

The subconscous mind creates a set of new behaviors to
help avoid that pain in the future

whilst the higher mind brings the necessary circumstances
into being to show you the value of it

The rational mind cannot comprehend the magnitude of all
this and tries to "think of the solution"

You, become confused and seek answers both at the rational
level and subconscoius level.

Here's an example; I coached a diplomat for a while who
drank a lot at night, he couldn't understand why he did
this (rational mind) and wanted it to stop.

He came to me for help; after talking for a while I began
to ask him questions.

Me "If you didn't drink at night what would you do?'

Him "Why I'd work of course, I'm very busy and need to
continue working at home"

Me "When you do drink what do you do?"

Him "I tend to watch TV or sit and talk in the garden"

Me "What's great about doing that for you?"

Him "Great? what do you mean? I'm here for help not to
have you cheer leading me drinking!"

Me "Listen, you're here for help, play with me here and
lets see where this takes us ok?"

Him nodding "OK, well I guess I do spend some great
time with my son at night and I really enjoy getting to
know him more and it's nice to talk with my wife and
forget about work for a while…."

See where this is going?

It turns out he loved spending time with his family but
felt guilty about doing that due to some percieved earlier
pain from his father, so his subconscious mind had started
him drinking knowing this would kill 2 birds with 1 stone;

Stop him working
Get him relaxed

We may say this is bad behaviour to drink yet it is the most
elegant solution to this problem.

Here's what I've learnt;

All behaviour serves. Procrastinating for instance generally
means you're not ready and need more information, we have
labelled this bad, yet the opposite is true.

Everything you do serves, think you did someone wrong in
your past? Think again, everything serves, we are inexplicably
drawn to those that we need to meet to learn our lessons.

Everything serves.

The subconscience is trying to meet a need, so far the only
need I've seen consistently is the need to love and be loved.

So I have to assume this is the over riding creative drive for
everything we do.

But your subconsious does not work in a rational way, it has
FAR more resources available to it than mere thought, thus
it creates the simplest way to do that through your behaviour.

Your rational mind tries to understand a complex (to your
rational mind) sequence of events but in truth never can.

Einstein said it best:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is
a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors
the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

So next time you don't understand why you're doing something
or why someone else is doing something just realize that they
are trying to be loved or give love and their behaviour is the sum
of their subconscious mind with all it's resources finding the
simplest and most elegant way to do that.

Neil

This post was written by

Neil Asher – who has written posts on Neil Asher.
Neil Asher - lazy Git Neil Asher my mates call me running businesses in 5 countries, entrepreneur and 3rd worst flamenco guitarist in London, twice customer of week at Starbucks and full time dad to Isabella Asher, I love helping people get their business online

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{ 1 comment }

Deon van Rooyen September 16, 2011 at 10:46 am

Our mind is a powerful tool. We use less than 4% of it’s capacity. Scary thought. (some people I know hardly get the scale to move) If we could master the ability to constantly use and control more of the capacity we have, we would be able to achieve so much more in life.
Thanks for all the great tips Niel

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